If you carry a “C” card wherever you go and your vacation mornings are often blissful, carefree, and surrounded by aquamarine waters filled with interesting and colorful critters … then you can probably relate to this list of funny things that divers’ experience.

1) Gear envy—when I arrived at my dive destination all of my equipment was perfectly acceptable—that was until the next morning. Inevitably, we all schlepp our mesh bags down to the dock and begin browsing our neighbor’s wares. Once we are on the boat and unpack, we check out each other’s wetsuits, BCD’s, computers, etc… who needs Internet shopping, when you can get a live demo of the new trends. Although shiny “bells and whistles” are nice, I remember that comfort and safety reign supreme when I see the dive master is donning worn, tattered equipment unfazed by an endless parade of silly overly tech’d out recreational divers.

2) The clanging of tanks being loaded into the boat—this is a joyous noise all divers yearn to hear, it beckons … come one and come all! Grab your gear and let’s go!

3) The underwater tank bang—this is a noise that I associate with something cool to see. I immediately search out the location of the banger. I swim fast thinking … Oh, yes … is it huge turtle, nurse shark, or a sail-fin blenny? Bang that tank and you’d better have an issue or something better than asking me about my air.

4) Shedding pounds—Nope, not talking about the old waistline and heaven forbid we skip the scrumptious dessert menu while on vacation. I’m speaking of a divers hope to lose a few pounds of weight from their belt or pouches in the hopes of increasing their beloved bottom time. My last dive trip with a full five mil suit … started with 18 pounds and dropped it down to 16 … check me out. Bam! I was cool and steady at the safety stop, like a boss.

5) Boat bounce—every seasoned diver knows to put your gear together and out of the way before the boat leaves the dock because you can’t do it while bucking the waves to your dive site. Every now and then I see someone who tries and it isn’t pretty. Enjoy looking at the foamy trail the boat makes, savor the ocean blue as you fly past the shore and the floating cities on your way to visit the beautiful depths.

6) The camera catch—that moment when you are searching the coral for a lobster family or a toad fish hanging out in his lair and a camera the has escaped its owners grasp happens by. This has occurred more than once. We take good pictures with the camera so that when we return it, they didn’t lose out … surprise!

7) Mask face—Yep, that lovely (nearly permanent) ringed indention that I proudly wear upon my face along with a relaxed post scuba smile every day of a dive trip … except for the last one of course … which brings us to …

8) Last day blues—Every diver has felt that deep pang of sadness watching the boats pack up and leave without us on the last morning of our trip. The 24-hour rule is a bugger to obey.

My favorite place to experience all of these things is at Scuba Club Cozumel where the staff is friendly, the water is fabulous, and the trip is flawless.

Where is your favorite dive spot? Have something to add to the list, tell me about it in the comment section. ? Happy Diving!

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